Emotional Intelligence: is it the missing ingredient for ‘speaking up’?

"I should’ve said something!”

“Why didn’t I let them know?!”

When people hesitate to speak up, it is often not because they lack the capability or desire to address what they have heard or seen. What is evident from research is that the hesitation for speaking up includes:

1. 1. Individuals are often managing emotions such as uncertainty
   2. They have a fear of conflict
   3. Are concerned about their relationship with the receiver
   4. They worry about how their message will be received.

This illustrates the importance of Emotional Intelligence (EI), also known as Emotional Quotient which in simple terms is our capacity to manage our emotional reactions and responses.

Emotional Intelligence, or quotient, is often described as a measure of someone’s agreeableness, it is how we respond or contribute to the situation in those times of conversational conflict. 

Daniel Goleman's work highlighted that success at work is not determined by technical expertise alone. In his book Emotional intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ, Golman explains self-awareness, empathy, relationship management, and how the ability to manage our emotions are critical factors influencing personal and professional success.

These factors all influence how we communicate, especially when the conversations feel challenging. I have personally come to realise when I recognise, label and acknowledge the emotional reactions in my brain I have much more informed and connected conversations which lead to better outcomes.

This is where emotional intelligence truly matters and can often be missed or ignored. The art of self-awareness helps us recognise when discomfort is influencing our decisions. The ability for us to self-regulate, allows us to stay composed under pressure.

While being empathetic helps us understand another person's perspective, the critical factor of leading with curiosity enables us to seek an understanding of their ‘why’ before making judgement. 

These qualities are central to psychological safe work environments, as we need to recognise our own triggers before being able to support others with theirs. This has been evident from the clients we work with, where team members have shared how they are more likely to raise concerns, share ideas and address issues early when others respond with openness, respect and genuine curiosity.

At Mater Education, we recognise that when people develop both practical conversation skills and gain a better understanding of their emotional intelligence, they become more confident in addressing issues constructively and earlier.

In situations where we address concerns in the moment, speak up for the safety of ourselves or others, it can help prevent the problem becoming bigger or the behaviour becoming the ‘norm’.

Speaking up is not just a communication skill, it is also an emotional intelligence skill for everyone to harness.

Therefore, in workplaces where people feel able to have the conversations they know they need to have, it can benefit everyone involved.

Article written by Alasdair Torrie, Mater Education – Commercial Partnerships

Reference: Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. Bantam Books.